... Though I'm not completely familiar with your sitch, please let me add ...
The remorse - as Starsky told me two months ago - might not come in the way/form you think it should.
BUT, your W should AT THE VERY LEAST be willingly answering ANY questions you have about the A. And she should be 100% willing to agree to a full transparency plan (even if, yes, it may make her feel uncomfortable at first).
Figure out what you need. Then ask for it. If she's remorseful, she'll agree to give you what you say you need. That's just my .05 (inflation, ya know).
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
