hope456 - he filed, what now?

[25yearsmlc]

First off, I read your post and it saddened me, despite how I feel about your future, personally. (Meaning, I think you'll ultimately be happier in a r with someone very different, OR your h will change a lot)...

You are doing better than you know. And YES sometimes detachment is a switch that flips. It might flip back "on" again, b/c our progress is NOT linear.

But you'll also know what "this" feels like, and it gets easier to return there when needed...in time.

FWIW, many years ago a 7 y/o neighbor came by our house. I assumed she was going to ask to play with our d, also 7 then.

Instead, when I opened the door and greeted her, she said "My parents are being divorced" and stood there...waiting for my answer.

I said, "sorry to hear that...(She remained silent)

I waited a beat & then said "would you like to come in and play?" To which she said "YES, now, please" and stayed all day.

Broke my heart. And though I HATE the phrase, "they're so resilient", it IS what struck me most as I saw her over the next few months. And that her mom seemed to be, in time, better off.

Venting a little...

H hasn't called or texted to check on D7. Not only did she find out about our D yesterday, but she's also not feeling well, which he knows.

Expectations got you again. You have to drop them. He barely agreed to watch TV with her and then left after 5 minutes. He's wallowing now.

Let him be...