thank you for your reply. we have 4 children, our son (30) knows about his father's affair and that it is over, he doesn't know how he is living his life abroad now, his many other women - i only about this from snooping -what good does it do to tell him? our eldest daughter (25) is travelling half way around the world and again it doesn't seem right to tell her when she is so far away. I have two other daughters living with me, one is 20 and very immature and highly sensitive, it would hurt her deeply. our youngest has just turned 16 and suffers from low self-esteem (is in recovery from self harming) - who does it help if i tell them, their father is only coming home twice a year at the moment for two weeks at a time. Last year he came home every 8 weeks for a week. He is emotionally unstable but not suicidal at the moment. His first love became pregnant when she was 30 and he was 24, they had a boy (now our son) and she died nine months later - he seems to be focusing on this now 30 years later, he lost his job, we are in serious debt, his mother died, all in the last few years - all the mlc triggers - recently he mailed me to say he 'needs my support and more' and that everything is 'cheap and meaningless'. I love him and dont want to make things worse for him by alienating his children. I do think he should know what I know because he genuinely believes that it is ok for him to live the life he wants, with several women on the go, so long as myself and the children don't know about it. He tells these women not to fall in love in with him, that he is not capable of love, that he has shown that by what he has done to his wife that he is not capable of commitment (in a strange way this seems to make them more interested). All insights welcome, i am on my own, but I am stronger now and need to be for all of us - he also told me at the beginning of this that I am the 'strenght'of our family.
