Hello all, Not sure if I'm crazy or not but I'm looking for advice to save my marriage.
Background: Started dating my wife shortly after high school. Dated for 3 years. Married in 1994. First born son in 1997. Second son in 2001. Her first affair was in 2004; 2 weeks before 10th anniversary. Lasted a few weeks; slept with guy once. She felt guilty. Got counseling from a pastor to save the marriage. Her second affair I found out about the week after Easter. Cell phone records show contact to last week of March. She doesn't feel guilty. "This is a real relationship not an affair." She wants a divorce. We went to a marriage counselor but she had no intention of changing her mind. I made every mistake in the book to try to convince her of staying. She moved to her sister's house three weeks ago. Up until that time we had many late night/ all night talks where she blamed me for everything she could. From the reading I've done, this is standard to rewrite marriage history. Shoot we even had "relations" often before she moved out. We have no assets only a ton of debt and we both make little money. At first, she wanted to still have her home and family life plus the affair. Shoot, she even though we would go on our annual family camping trip together through all this until I said no.
To my knowledge she has not filed yet. She told my mother recently that her sister will not condone her affair and will have to move in with other guy soon. The boys stay with me as this is the only home they've known. She's willing to split the debt, though I am taking a bit more. She was surprised that I split from our bank so fast last week.
In a nut shell, that's where I am. I hold myself accountable for my true part in the deterioration of this marriage and am working to fix those things whether she stays or not.
