Saw it on the side of a coffee mug.
That was my epiphany. I hope it can help other's in my position.

While a lot of my wife's behaviour suggests MLC at 31, I can clearly see now that much of this is to do with a loss of respect.
My mother in law was right when she was telling me about why her second marriage ended. In a pointed kind of way.

Yes, I used to be a bit of a people pleaser, with some conditions that were a hole in the bucket of my self esteem (crappy job, money troubles, fair weather friends)
That changed over the last year as I did things to make myself happy first for once.

Over our separation I have allowed her to talk to me like dirt. Like I don't matter. She feels sorry for me instead of admiriation.
I was scared to lose her completely.

Now it seems I have. As I look back I'm slightly disgusted with myself for how weak I have been and appeared.
Depression and stress will do that.

So recently she saw me looking better than she has ever seen me. Heard that I was moving country in a few weeks.
And I spoke to her in a tone that was a 180 of how I have been this last year.

Stronger and less tolerant of her wishy washy, self justifying FB postcard crap.

I thought I had seen and heard the last of her.

Until a friend of my family went into her store. She pounced on her, and couldn't have been nicer. When she has treated her with unjustified arrogance for a year.
Asking how everyone was, if she could help with her shopping and trying to arrange a home delivery for it.

My friend was stunned. Said that my wife had a slight look of panic in her eyes. Asking how all my family were.

The next week could be interesting.


Suspected EA: Feb 2013
Bomb drop: Mid March 2013
Separation: Mid April 2013
(I fought for marriage)
Filed for Divorce: April 2014
Accidental Exposure of affair: June 2014