Saw it on the side of a coffee mug. That was my epiphany. I hope it can help other's in my position.
While a lot of my wife's behaviour suggests MLC at 31, I can clearly see now that much of this is to do with a loss of respect. My mother in law was right when she was telling me about why her second marriage ended. In a pointed kind of way.
Yes, I used to be a bit of a people pleaser, with some conditions that were a hole in the bucket of my self esteem (crappy job, money troubles, fair weather friends) That changed over the last year as I did things to make myself happy first for once.
Over our separation I have allowed her to talk to me like dirt. Like I don't matter. She feels sorry for me instead of admiriation. I was scared to lose her completely.
Now it seems I have. As I look back I'm slightly disgusted with myself for how weak I have been and appeared. Depression and stress will do that.
So recently she saw me looking better than she has ever seen me. Heard that I was moving country in a few weeks. And I spoke to her in a tone that was a 180 of how I have been this last year.
Stronger and less tolerant of her wishy washy, self justifying FB postcard crap.
I thought I had seen and heard the last of her.
Until a friend of my family went into her store. She pounced on her, and couldn't have been nicer. When she has treated her with unjustified arrogance for a year. Asking how everyone was, if she could help with her shopping and trying to arrange a home delivery for it.
My friend was stunned. Said that my wife had a slight look of panic in her eyes. Asking how all my family were.
The next week could be interesting.
Suspected EA: Feb 2013 Bomb drop: Mid March 2013 Separation: Mid April 2013 (I fought for marriage) Filed for Divorce: April 2014 Accidental Exposure of affair: June 2014