I'll post anyways and let the beatings begin. I'm talking to you cadet :-)
When we finally started talking about problems at the beginning of S W said she stopped the physical because she didn't feel loved. And she need to feel the emotional to give the physical. I didn't understand exactly because I can have one or the other or both. She said I didn't show her I cared. What does that mean? Help. I'm going to give a list and I want to know is this not showing or am I just getting it all wrong. I loved W very much and there are thing a did from the very beginning right up to S that I did without thought but because it always felt right. D bring her coffee in bed and leave on the nightstand because I often left for work before she was up, I opened doors all doors any doors she always walked through fist In winter I set her car up for winter driving dusted off in the morning for her Did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen at night before going to bed because I knew she was tired from a day with the kids, there were back rubs, supporting her interests by volunteering to help at events, I held her had , complimented her, brought flowers, filled her wine glass,agonized over her Christmas gifts ( except once when I included a salad spinner in the foray. Became a bit of a joke. Let's say it was an epic fail) brought her blankets when she was cold unloaded the car when she got back from shopping, took time out of my day to run an errand for her. When we went shopping and she try on something I thought looked amazing my only response was that looks fantastic let's get it. When she went back to school I sat for hours and hours and listened to topics from class. I re and reread her papers , I asked her opinion. When we traveled together I drove a lot but she always sat beside me. Even when other couples were traveling with us and the guy would go for the front seat I'd stop him and say sorry bud. Only on person sits up front and you ain't it( that one sounds weird. She drove a lot of the time too this isn't a male dominate thing this is me saying that my W will never sit behind me)
These things aren't fiction. I did them not because I wanted a pat on the back. I did them because I loved her. And I thought that they would show her exactly that. I do these thing because I love you. But when we spoke she said she didn't feel loved. In that I'm lost. Thoughts, insight, anything. Help If small gestures are the halmark of love. Where did I fail?
