And, at some point, the mind (IMO) demands the checkbook be reconciled. I think this is MLC. The mind is trying to make peace/wrap around unfinished/painful business of the past.
Imagine struggling to remain in the present, while your mind is working through a lifetime of emotional scars. . . . . . .
Sadly, there may be NO explanation. It's just your brain resolving whatever is tripping you up. Kinda like a daytime nightmare.
And, it makes remembering stuff that previously gave you no problem...nearly impossible.
Then, on top of that...When they hear you, they hear you with the ears of a child who is reliving past, painful memories. They don't hear you as an adult. They use all your words and interactions and more fodder for these emotional battles going on inside.
If it wasn't so painful to be around, it would be kinda interesting from a psychological point of view. Freud would love this stuff.
I think this may be exactly like it is for many MLCers. It certainly chimes with my experience of dealing with my xh, and what I have read here of others.
However they do not see that anything is the matter, or rather they cannot admit it to themselves. Those that do tend to seek help. Others work through it slowly, and sadly, some stay stuck. Part of being stuck, I believe, is intermittent awareness of how much hurt and damage they have inflicted on others, while seeing themselves throughout as the victim in all of this. And in one sense they are the victim, when they were much younger stuff happened to them.
The thing that stands out for me is how angry my xh is, still is, nine years on, he feels short changed by life. He is so angry and doesn't recognise it at all.
