After reflecting a bit more on everyone's feedback I realize that it would be very unwise of me to agree to an in house separation without H agreeing to my transparency plan. It would be crazy making for me, even if he's not gone all night the times he IS gone somewhere I would wonder. I wonder about him now but I can manage it better bc it's not 'in my face'. While I do think there would be advantages if he were here I don't think I could realistically manage the potential disadvantages without the transparency plan. It would feel like we were sweeping the A under the rug TOO much and it kind of makes me feel weak.
I'm going to leave the ball in his court right now anyway. We discussed it a bit and agreed to think about it. I'm not going to bring it up until he does. And if he does I will put the transparency plan requirement out there.
Thanks again for everyone's feedback!
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
