Well it's probably too late, but I've gotta try

[recng]

Has OM changed his mind about the baby and getting M? B/c at one time he didn't want any part of it.

Yes, he's been all over the map on this and at least three different occasions has said he will sign over his rights to the kid (one of which I have in writing). Currently he is on board to raise the kid with W and he has been paying the doctor's bills.

Did your lawyer advise you to D her before or after the birth of the baby? Maybe laws have changed now, but use to be if she was still M when the baby was born, the H would be child s legal parent. Therefore, the H was responsible for child support. But if tests prove baby is not H's child, I don't know.

I had this sense in April that she was only halfheartedly saying she wanted to come back to me just to stay on my insurance. I wasn't going to be used like that so I filed. My lawyer told me the D should be able to be finalized as long as we both agree it's not my kid (should be finalized in mid to late July)

I think men do get into some type of competition with W's OM. It becomes a matter of winning for them. But you have to look at the big picture. Do you want the drama of W/OM for years to come?

Well no of course I don't. I have told W I am not going to be with her if it means OM comes to see the kid every other weekend or something like that. Basically there's 3 options I have told her I'm ok with.
1. OM gives up rights to the kid entirely
2. W gives the kid to OM.... I doubt this would happen, I don't think he's capable in anyway of handling a kid by himself.
3. W and OM give up the kid for adoption.

And honestly I'm not really fond of 1 or 2 because there was always be that wonder between them... maybe someday she shares a picture of the kid when she's 5... and they reconnect... ugh.. I feel gross thinking about it. I would prefer option 3

I don't see her being able to distant herself from OM while she's pregnant.......nor after the birth. I can't see her going 30 days with NC, either.

I see what you're saying. But then why is W doing what's she doing right now. She has OM with her if she wants him. Even after all their breakups he's still willing to take care of the kid. She has alimony from me for a while. If she stuck around she might have even been able to fight for more time with our kids, but now that's not an option at all. Why risk a decently stable life with OM, their kid, our kids? Why?

She really had the nerve to tell you to trust her!

Yes. She says crazy things so often, I have become numb to them.