In my case neither one of us has filed for D. H has not said he wants a D. But he's also not sure that we can work out our M and be happy so he's hesitant all around. He insists he is done with OW and there is no contact but I have been fearful and suspicious. That would be the biggest risk, he comes to live here and is actually still involved with her behind my back. Having said that, I would clearly state I expect continued NC with OW and no dating anyone else (for either of us!), but as I mentioned not so sure I would go so far as to demand a transparency agreement as we'd still be 'separated'.
I think your point about what you can emotionally handle is excellent. That's probably the biggest thing, not sure how well I can emotionally handle being around him so much and not being completely 'together'. Although on the positive side when we are around each other it's generally quite pleasant and I think works to draw him to me. I guess my hope would be if we had an in house separation it would provide more opportunities for that positive time together. Also, I would see my kids every day. Right now he takes them about 40% of the time, which is really tough.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
