Matt, I haven't posted to you before, but it is a fine line between recognising that everyone has responsibility ultimately for what they do, while also seeing that these MLC people are not thinking clearly at all.
I think taking blame out of the equation helps and inserting responsibility. In one sense they do not choose to be in MLC - they are driven - it is a bit like an addict.
I can see that you are hurting a lot. I know, I have been there and I am sorry for your pain, hurt and feeling of helplessness. When you are able to be a little more detached, (and that is something to work towards, not something that occurs overnight!) you will be able to balance compassion with accountability.
It feels personal but actually it isn't, and I have a really mean MLCer. I can see the train wreck that the poor guy has made of his life, and he still blames me for his unhappiness. I am just so grateful that I am not going through all of this turmoil.
Overall things gradually get better with us, and the more we can detach the better we get. If you examine every aciton and every hurt it is harder to recover. Not easy taking the high road, and Lord knows it took me long enough.
