Wife in MLC and ready to leave #4

[25yearsmlc]

What they said ^^^^....

It's a real gift to have a d19 like you have. Siblings can be such Godsends. You're fortunate to have her.

Question: Where are some of your d14's friends going to high school? Are any going to either of the schools being considered?

(I assume your d14 knows no one at the school near your w's new place. 20 miles is far for a 14 y/o.)

Is your d14 going to be starting at a new school, either way? And if so, I'd sure favor the school where she knows someone, b/c it's a lot of stress to begin high school under normal circumstances.

If this is a new school to her, maybe someone from church or a sports team or group she's involved in now, also goes to the high school near you? It doesn't have to have been a classmate from before.

I've moved 2 kids during high school, and it is fairly traumatic for them. Manageable, but HARD. Maybe your w thinks (IF) your d14 is beginning at a new place anyhow, it won't matter, but I think it matters a lot if she has some friends at one school, and zero at the other.

With mixed custody (of whatever percentage), someone's going to have to do a lot of driving til your d can drive herself. I guess your w could argue that 7/7 makes more sense for that reason, (and therefore, not switching every other night, for instance,) so be ready for that.


Finally, while you clearly recognize your w has had depressive episodes and had a terrible but formative relationship with her father, who has now invaded her life,

maybe you need to really take this in. She's NOT WELL. I'm not making the "in sickness and in health" argument. I'm not saying she gets a blank check for wacky choices.

I'm just saying, you are asking questions that will not yield you any useful or satisfactory answers.

I know that my h was not 'clinically ill" when he went to Alaska, but he was definitely behaving in a new, weird "blinders on" way. I could not reach him.

I wasted a solid year of my life focusing on HIM and his choices, asking "WHY???" a thousand times. I really regret that. I could have spend that time on creating a new and better life for myself and my children, that much sooner.

There are just NO real answers to the "Why?" or at least, no answers that will aid you in any way. Save yourself some head spinning and pain, and don't bother with what she's thinking/planning or doing. She's moving way too fast to figure it out anyhow.

When the dust settles, the wreckage will be evident.

Good luck