thanks for note - you are such a faithful guardian out there. (angel? we wonder???)
i need to "chaw" on your words - alot. I see what you are saying- and i always thought i was an okay person . My first gut reaction at bd was "this is f'd up- it's not ME whose freakin out" - this guy is crazy-. (i also had an instinct to "fight it" because what sort of schmuck would i be to just "hand over my life" without somuch as an objection???. i am not so sure anymore if i was right. once you find out (the hard way - unfortunately) you've made some HUGE MISTAKES in life- about people and what you saw & felt - and thought -
it kind of undermines everything. i mean, i WOULD think i'm swell- wouldn't I? i'm me. sooo- if a gal lets that sort of thing get a foothold (i guess i have) - a bit anyway - it could go very wrong.
i am having a lot of post-game analysis here with my mom sitch (yeah - i know - r.i.p) of course, it's easier to analyze away without "reality" in your face anymore.
i'm going to go clean and get the phone- and try and be lucid later. thanks for your thoughts- you're so supportive always. I'd sure like to feel special- can still remember how very much better than this it felt-
