I wanted to add... you ask why SAH parents are treated as a special thing. I won't answer for anyone else, but from my own perspective, staying home isn't *just* a job like any other.
It is an act of trust in the other spouse, making ourselves financially vulnerable on faith that we are working together to build a specific kind of life.
It isn't a job you can just quit when the working conditions are no longer to your liking. It doesn't have limited hours like any other form of employment. It requires a kind of selflessness to perform the work at hand, especially when the kids are young -- you're doing work FOR OTHERS all the time, generally for little more than appreciation which is usually pretty thin on the ground.
SAH parents are often criticized by the people for whom they perform these selfless tasks and given little to no appreciation. No job stays done for more than a few hours at a time. There is an expertise required to do it well that is generally devalued in the outside world. Just think how often you see articles telling parents all the ways we're messing up our kids. Do you see a widespread genre of literature telling salespeople or accountants how many different ways they screw up at work?
Working parents typically say "What's the big deal? I do everything they do AND I have a job." But working parents are able to get some needs met (validation, compensation, more general respect and periodic reviews, a sense of identity or community related to the workplace) outside the home, while SAH parents by definition will have to do without seeing those needs met, unless they have very perceptive and compassionate partners.
There are perks, but it's not necessarily for the faint of heart.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
