Hi I'm new, I hope I won't be a burden on you guys

[Barrybran]

So should I get it? Would it give her more reasons to stay?

Forget about reasons for her to stay right now. Forget it. Throw it out of your mind. Toss it in the trash. Run over it with your car. Whatever you need to do to forget about making her stay. This is about YOU. Who YOU are, what YOU want, what YOU can improve about YOU. Right now your wife doesn't know if YOU are someone she wants to spend her life with. Your job is to be a better YOU, for YOU, and not for your wife. Hopefully, your wife chooses to share her life with yours but ultimately, there is only YOU.

Now, I can not help YOU with YOUR decisions. That is for YOU to decide. What I can do, and MrBond has done, is to try and get YOU to focus on YOU.

Do YOU want the car? Not for her, not for your marriage, but for YOU. You've said that YOU can handle the bills for the car so that's a good start. Can YOU afford to live if you were single AND had the new car?

Now, as for her, actions speak louder than words. My wife and I have been separated for seven months and yet we're still under one roof. No intimacy or even touching but we're under one roof. She could leave and she hasn't. She could choose to divorce and she hasn't. Is your wife packing her bags? Enjoying your company and maintaining your sex life doesn't sound like much action from her end. Another saying you'll hear is to "keep the path home paved and smooth". That means to get your sh!t together, leave her to sort out her own mind and affairs and be the best YOU that YOU can be - attentive, caring, sympathetic, understanding... but an individual who is strong, independent and in charge of his OWN life.