Spent the day reviewing my last 20 years. Crap that's hard. It's hard to stop thinking about all the pain the other person caused, stepping back and saying "this is not the problem" the problem that I can address is me and boy oh boy did I bring a lot of problems.
I valued my w's opinion of me so much. More then I valued my own. The last trigger was reading words she had written about me over 19 months. Reading that she saw me as weak. It made me angry. I spoke to a friend last night about it. Those words had sent me to a very dark place on Friday night. He said this might hurt a bit but I need to know, " are you hurt because she wrote those words or are you hurt because you think they may be true?" It was a slap across my face. I didn't know or have an answer. Still don't
