labug, thanks for your reply. I see what you are saying.
I've been reflecting a lot on the advice I've seen on other threads (including my own!) You're right-- my life, and my DB process is about much more than my H. Some signs of my own progress that I wanted to share:
-- Had an inspiring and productive day at work, and feeling very optimistic about the next phase. -- Set some boundaries in an assertive, but not angry way (at least, I made a very honest attempt to do that). My mom's anxiety was spiraling out of control-- I didn't get angry at her. My brother started yelling at me-- I stayed calm, validated his feelings, and he ended up apologizing.
I've been thinking about the advice I gave another poster-- to "Choose" love. I don't feel much love for my H right now. But can I choose to? Hmmm, how do I act in a loving way towards him while also DB'ing? DBing seems self-centered in a lot of ways. I wonder about the difference between showing love (one of his biggest complaints about the M) vs. 'pursuing'.
And labug-- while I don't think I'm ready to date yet, I do miss intimacy. It's been a long time since I've felt emotionally intimate with someone-- this was something that I felt was missing for me in my M.
