I'll throw in my $.02 here (with a warning that my PMA is a little down today - been thinking of my buddy wiley and his D hitting today).
This is based on my experience with my WAW - her MLC and the series of events that occured last year for her, most notably, her brother's unexpected and tragic death.
I wanted to be there for her then - didn't know how (we had been separated 5 months when it happened, and just 2 weeks before, she was adamant about pursuing a D).
I finally decided I would be "there" for her when she needed me, but I wouldn't push to be there...make sense?
Anyway, she changed over the course of a few months and seemed to push the D a little less - at least until October when she filed.
I guess the point I'm trying (but clearly failing) to make is that nobody can tell how a life-altering event will ultimately affect a person who arguably is already in the midst of a personal crisis.
Seems to me that your best bet now is to "be there" when he reaches for you, but not push to be there. Not earth-shattering wisdom, I know, but sometimes the simple approach is just what's needed. (and admittedly, it looks like I'm very near to being D'd, so what good is my advice anyway)
I'm glad to see you recognizing some finite period to this limbo (as my friend Don Harvey, who wrote "When the One You Love Wants to Leave" would say, you can't live on Jello forever).
One last piece of unsolicited advice which I suspect you're already savvy about. Be careful with in-laws. Mine said the same things to me. And I still care for them. But blood IS thicker than water, Bets - it just is. I haven't spoken to any of mine in months - part of the detaching for both of us, I guess. So just be prepared, ok?
