Well h showed up today. As I said I wasn't sure but he was here first thing in the morning before I got home from work. Told d he got here early to mow the lawn, that is already mowed. LOL
Anyway, we had the chat. I'll try to keep this brief. I didn't handle everything as well as I would have liked but I did the best I could.
H wanted to sit outside and talk. Still no ring on his finger and he's not saying anything so I just couldn't stop it and asked him if the marriage is over. He said no, that's what he wants to talk to me about. That he misses me, d, the family, being home and he'd like for us to spend time together and work toward him coming home. I said that was fine - his timeline is 2 weeks. Now I'm not holding out any hope for that one.
He brought up the boyfriend thing and I told him I was sick of hearing it and what was the reason he keeps asking. He said he shouldn't ask but he does because he doesn't want me to have a boyfriend because if I did he couldn't ask to come home.
I told him of my possible promotion and he asked if that would be full time. I said yes and he said my hours were good right now and I said that doesn't pay the bills. He said it would in 2 weeks.
He also said he believes our therapist did a lot of harm. Yeah, I agree there. One IC session and he was done with the marriage. But anyway.
As the day progressed the tension was building. He reverted back to his teenage self, spending 2 hours setting up his stupid iPhone.
He looked horrible. My h, as everyone's here, is a good looking guy, or was. He's gained a ton of weight and has bags galore under his eyes. I'm pretty sure he's drinking pretty heavy as is my IC.
I think he's trying really hard to fight his way through this, but I don't think his 2 week timeline is going to pan out. But he did tell me there is no ow now or was there ever, it is just him.
When we were talking I did apologize for making him feel he needed to leave. He said it wasn't me, but him. That yes we did need to treat each other better and we were both too wrapped up in ourselves but that the reason this happened was mostly him. It's the first time he's admitted any responsibility. Of course, he didn't need to take it all. I'm more than willing to share that.
I think he does want to come home, but he's just not ready yet. At least maybe we can talk once in a while until he can get through this. I was no contact until this, but I will be a bit flexible and if he contacts me I will respond, but I think it might be best to let him initiate.
