I'm mulling things over tonight. Had a nice chat on my way home from the gym with Mr. W's SIL (who I'll refer to as C in this post). We had a few minutes to catch up--it has been months since we last spoke.
She told me that she saw Mr. W. when he came over for dinner last Tuesday, but that he started his evening there with a "warning": No mention of the word Betsey. (Note, I'm picturing this said in the vein of the Pharoah and Yul Brynner about Moses in The Ten Commandments--my name is stricken from all conversation with his family members)
She wanted to know what that meant? In my speak or his?
Who really knows?
C is really wanting to force a heart-to-heart talk with the person who has always been her younger brother, but afraid. She asked me how long I am going to give him...
Before I answered she told me, "Bets, you know that B & I think the world of you. You will ALWAYS be our family, regardless. We both commend you on exhibiting the most patience of anyone we know collectively, and for that, you get an award."
I told her that my personal deadline is May (after rethinking what Myrrh mentioned in one of her threads, I came up with 15 months--that would be May). I told her that if he doesn't get moving here, I'm getting moving filing for D.
She said soberly, "Bets, I hope he gets his head out of his ass because B & I both think he's made a collossal mistake."
C then told me that she'd send me the obit for MIL... I guess Mr. W's dad wrote it, specifically named his kids and grandkids, but she and I were omitted from the obit. Hmmm. Guess he thinks his grandkids were conceived and born by spontaneous generation? Nice.
I was planning on accompanying Bob when I walked through the door. But the Grinch met me in all his glory, and Bob couldn't seem to find his way to the forefront with such a looming negative presence.
He put his coat on immediately and was about to leave when I asked him to tell me honestly if there was a letter to me from his mom. He said, "No, just C." I commented that he said letters, not letter, and he said, "Oh, well if I said that you'll have to excuse me. Just one, and it was for C."
Then D10 told me about a computer phone call that he got when she was here--from the health insurance company. Those computers always screw up our last name, and she and Mr. W. were laughing about the pronunciation. I asked what the computer wanted?
He said the computer transferred him to a live person, who was arguing about double coverage--I haven't been on his policy for a few years now, and he thinks they were testing him. He negated their supposition and seemed a little annoyed at the inquisition.
I asked why they thought it was so weird... and why now?
He said (sort if irritated), "Bets, I don't know. They wanted to catch me in some sort of lie or something. I told them the truth."
I commented, "Well, it can't be THAT foreign.... what if you were divorced?"
He said (very snottily), "Well, IF I was divorced, I would have filed all my employee paperwork as divorced, wouldn't I?"
Then he left.
D10 was standing beside me when I asked, "Is it just me or is Dad pissed off?"
She came to his rescue and said, "Mom, he told me he got up at 4:30 this morning and couldn't get back to sleep, so he went into work. He's probably tired."
I sat for a few minutes and decided to call him. He answered his cell in a very fatigued voice--who knows, maybe he's getting good at the drama thing too?
I asked if he had a minute and he sighed the sigh of a martyr. "Yes. What do you need?"
Me: "K, did I do or say something to upset you? Because I felt that way when you left. You seemed irritated or annoyed with me and I'm concerned."
MW: Another belabored sigh. "No. I'm not mad at you, Bets. It's been one hell of a long week since Mom died and I'm emotionally drained. You didn't do anything to piss me off."
Me: "I don't want to seem weird about this, but if I didn't ask, I wouldn't know. Sorry for bothering you. I know you're tired."
MW: "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow."
Me: "Okay, bye."
What a bizarre interaction! I know this seems more normal than it actually was.
Trish, whereever you are, you were right on him withdrawing more. Because he IS.
Just sign me, "Puzzled with Joe, the Unfunny Stooge"
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
