These are all great questions. Problem is how do you answer without looking like a victim. I don't want to be a victim. I'm not looking for sympathy but every time I write it reads that way. So I'm struggling to put emotions to words. I hope you can understand.
I think it's important to say it in a way that owns it. For example, instead of saying "she did x," say "I allowed her to do x." Own your role in it. If you didn't communicate, focus on that, and so on.
I believe that when you enter into a M, you automatically own 50% of the responsibility for that M. It's never one person's fault....you both share in it. But the only thing you can do is address your 50%...own it, change it, forgive yourself, and do better.
Originally Posted By: Cw_wc
I come from a family of six. Everyone had a role. Mine was to smile and nod and say no no it's ok I don't mind. ( ya sounds victemish but try to understand a little). As I grew up I never learned to leave that role behind. I need to fix issues and problems and people but I never learned to put myself first. When I did I felt guilty and developed a coping habit of lying because I didn't know how to say this is what I want.
This here is the start! This is where you start addressing your "whys." Why am I like this? Where does this come from? And then....who do I want to be? Who do I want to show the world?
Keep digging....you are getting some great questions and advice. Read it....re-read it....think about it.
