And now I can't sleep, realizing that a tide of sadness is coming in, W singlemindedly pushing, cleaning, painting, all towards leaving (me). She has 60 days or so before school starts again, so time is of the essence.
Perhaps her fast work will have the mercy of a surgeon operating without anesthesia, quick, brutal cuts that leave you gasping, but then it is over. And if/when d16 leaves, I am cast off, a pain I can't bear, drowning.
How to resist this sadness? How to negate it? How to do all my regular work with this happening, bits of evidence all around me, the cleaned freezer drawer, the emptied gardening closet, the trimmed trees? How do I live with this looming death? Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
