Myrrh--No worries on clarification in your post. Because I'm not sure if I mean MIL's dying or our M or both! I'm wary as heck here and not sure why!
LNL--Glad you found enjoyment of the soap opera kind. Read on if you want a real laugh!
CBH--Ditto!
Meredith--As always, your input is well timed, thoughtful and funny! I HAVE been thinking about the phone call thing, though, and this is what I came up with.
Last February, I went to visit mutual friends for a weekend. The W of the couple commented, "For someone who wants to be estranged from you, Mr. Wonderful sure calls you a lot." He phoned me often!
When I got home, they were all in the family room waiting for me--Mr. W. and D10 were playing Playstation. He was actually very cordial to me and I could tell he was processing something. Mind you, this was well before discovering DB...
I called him upstairs to the kitchen and told him I had observed something that I wasn't sure I liked. So I told him. I pointed out that when I went to Seattle and to our friends house, he phoned me incessantly--bugging me with small things that I had absolutely NO control over.
Things like, D6 escaped and is walking the neighborhood and I can't find her; should I take them to the movies or to play mini golf; where are D6's pink socks? That sort of crap.
I let him know that I didn't appreciate having him call me every half hour to address stuff like that, but if he wanted to talk, he was more than welcome. I probably didn't word it as nice as I did here, though. I remember asking him how he'd feel if I called him every 20-30 minutes when he was having the rare chance to get away? He probably muttered and walked away...
When I was visiting you in Detroit, he was probably hyper sensitive to that "chat" last year.
But why here and at home? Once I broke the ice and called him on Saturday about D10's birthday party, he called from then on out. No more calls from D10 that should have been from him!
Oh, yes, the party...
She sent out the invitations without consulting either one of us--and wants a bowling party.
I discovered that all the lanes have leagues until 9 pm at night, and dragging 10 10-year old girls out at 9 doesn't sound like a really good idea. So I called them to ask for an alternate of choice--Fat City or something else.
Well, she was really whiny and obnoxious. I could tell that Mr. Wonderful was a little irritated with her. I asked him to ask her what she wanted, and she pulled some PA crap of her own--saying "I don't care, it's only my birthday party. Everyone is going to be mad at me anyway, so you choose."
He sighed but I got mad. I said, "K, I've got an idea... you willing to go along with it for a second?" He said, "Sure."
I told him to tell her if she didn't help us, I'd call for some clowns (she hates clowns). He did, and Ms. Stubborn replied, "Who cares." I said, "Tell her I'm going to hire those midget clowns that came to Dave's party last year."
He did and she started to cry... she told him to tell me she'd at least try to work with him on doing SOMETHING entertaining!
So I'm still at a loss on why he was choosing not to speak to me until I broke the ice. It doesn't make sense to me.
Whoever commented that he was shielding me from his mother's words is right on the money. He has done this throughout our M. I'm very grateful for this, but the fact is that her words really hurt him. This is what I don't understand about her.
Okay, my last funny story. Mr. W. is still aghast at this.
D6 had fettucine alfredo all over her face and hands last night, so when she was finished, I took her to the ladies room. We got her washed up and then I decided to go to the bathroom while we were in there. I asked her to go too (she declined), and told her she was coming in the stall with me.
While I was walking into the stall, a female wait attendant walked in. I had finished and was standing up to pull up my jeans when D6 opened the stall door--which was in front of the entrance. A man walked into the ladies room, having a full shot of what I had to offer (nude below the waist) and apologized. I was appalled and looked at the other gal who was standing at the sink and laughing. She commented, "Well, if that wasn't a worse case bathroom scenario, I don't know what is!"
I returned to the table with a bit of my pride missing and commented to Mr. Wonderful, "I had an incident in the bathroom." He looked at me, puzzled, and said, "Huh?"
I told him that another patron "pulled a Bill". He turned red and started to laugh. I told the story and D10 started to cry... she was functioning on 2 hours of sleep and over excitement. She said, "Why would a man come in the ladies room?"
Before I go on, I will tell you that Mr. Wonderful did this once before we had kids. And it was a huge joke, because he did it a year after my grandfather did. We called it "Pulling a Bill" after my grandfather... who also had a really lame excuse (even though he was 80 years old at the time).
Mr. Wonderful told D10 his exact words: "Because, silly, he didn't see the W-O before the M-E-N!"
Another side note here: I received an e-mail from the hunky sportcaster this morning. He said he would LOVE to do the tournament, but he's working and he has to work because he's getting married the following Saturday! But he said he now owes me... I promise to enlighten him with DB--in fact, maybe I'll send him a copy as a wedding present! He sounds like a great guy...
This just gives me further resolve to get Mr. W. to come around. But who knows what that will take and how long it will take?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Myrrh--No worries on clarification in your post. Because I'm not sure if I mean MIL's dying or our M or both! I'm wary as heck here and not sure why!
I am going to think on this (and Mer's "off feeling) and see if I can come up with anything. I'm stumped - maybe if I read back through the last week or so of posts, I'll find somthing. Hmmm
But why here and at home? Once I broke the ice and called him on Saturday about D10's birthday party, he called from then on out. No more calls from D10 that should have been from him!
Well, I'm glad THAT bit of weirdness is over!!!!
I told him to tell her if she didn't help us, I'd call for some clowns (she hates clowns). He did, and Ms. Stubborn replied, "Who cares." I said, "Tell her I'm going to hire those midget clowns that came to Dave's party last year."
I don't even know what to say. I almost wet my pants when I read that you threatened D10 with midget clowns.
So I'm still at a loss on why he was choosing not to speak to me until I broke the ice. It doesn't make sense to me.
Because he's just a really WEIRD fish. Okay, I don't know, so I am reduced to being goofy.
I had finished and was standing up to pull up my jeans when D6 opened the stall door--which was in front of the entrance. A man walked into the ladies room, having a full shot of what I had to offer (nude below the waist)
And he didn't even have a coupon!
I was appalled and looked at the other gal who was standing at the sink and laughing. She commented, "Well, if that wasn't a worse case bathroom scenario, I don't know what is!"
Another side note here: I received an e-mail from the hunky sportcaster this morning. He said he would LOVE to do the tournament, but he's working and he has to work because he's getting married the following Saturday!
That's a terrible excuse! He couldn't come up with anything better than a wedding?
But he said he now owes me...
Maybe in light of the wedding, this wouldn't be agood time to present him with your voucher...
I promise to enlighten him with DB--in fact, maybe I'll send him a copy as a wedding present!
I think they should distribute tiny versions as wedding favors at their reception.
This just gives me further resolve to get Mr. W. to come around. But who knows what that will take and how long it will take?
Okay, not to rehash, but how long were you guys married before the big S? I still think the limbo-ish waiting period might be contributing to your unease - maybe a small bit of frustration with the sitch because it isn't clear where to go with it next? I dunno...JMO
Still trying to stop laughing, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
You mean you don't have midget clowns in Illinois?
We went to a party with some last year and they were a huge hit. D6 normally hates everything that is in costume (yes, that includes halloween--her living nightmare), but she laughed herself sick at the midget clowns. Oh, sorry... little people clowns.
D10 decided she couldn't laugh at them (even though they were really funny) because she felt like she was making fun of them. It was a pretty sad sight: D10 pouting and working at not laughing and D6 howling like a loon.
I think that I won't present hunky sportscaster with a coupon--lest I be one of the stories on the board in about 7 years about the slut who slept with her fiancee the week before the wedding...
I'll just wish him well and invite him again next year!
Mr. W. and I have been technically married for 13 1/2 years and lived together 1 year before the wedding.
Yes, limbo is adding to my unease as is the lack of direction in this whole thing--something I share with all of you BB posters. I promise to remain patient (and faithful) and not to go off like a loose cannon.
I'm inclined to believe that pushing any of Mr. Wonderful's buttons right now would backfire in my face. And after such a nice experience yesterday, I don't plan on being the spoil sport.
We were trying to relive the events leading up to D10's birth--she was not amenable to hearing any of the story (I guess she figured there would be a gross quotient or something, because she's really wigged out at the thought of giving birth).
I broke the ice at 5:00 and commented, "Well, this time 10 years ago, your dad made a run to Quizno's and came back with his bag and soda to meet the OB and the nurse who were telling me not to push until he got there!" He started to laugh and she had to follow suit...
I don't have to relive the rest of the night because he and I both know it was our most memorable night together. Nothing like having a baby to cement things...
TTFN!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Didn't mean to overlook your question. It has some merit and I'm thinking about that possibility. You might be on to something! Thanks for pointing this out because I think it will bear fruit...
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Quote: You mean you don't have midget clowns in Illinois?
Well, not that I've seen lately, but who knows? Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places.
D6 normally hates everything that is in costume (yes, that includes halloween--her living nightmare), but she laughed herself sick at the midget clowns. Oh, sorry... little people clowns. D10 decided she couldn't laugh at them (even though they were really funny) because she felt like she was making fun of them. It was a pretty sad sight: D10 pouting and working at not laughing and D6 howling like a loon.
Have I mentioned that the D's rarely fail to mkae my day, or at least give me a huge laugh?
I think that I won't present hunky sportscaster with a coupon--lest I be one of the stories on the board in about 7 years about the slut who slept with her fiancee the week before the wedding...
Hee-hee. You just don't seem like OW material to me, Bets. Although I think I might laugh if I found you in someone else's story. Why? Because "it's a small world after all!"
Mr. W. and I have been technically married for 13 1/2 years and lived together 1 year before the wedding.
K - busting out the Michelle handbook here. She quotes "at least one month of solid change for how many years were spent going down the wrong road." That may not be exactly thirteen years (I hope the first few were wonderful for you guys, but if crazymaking was present since the beginning...), but the SOLID CHANGE part is key - so maybe think about that little formula - I do all the time.
Yes, limbo is adding to my unease as is the lack of direction in this whole thing--something I share with all of you BB posters. I promise to remain patient (and faithful) and not to go off like a loose cannon.
Yes, we only need one loose cannon in our little corner of the BB, and currently that's my job - you can maybe have the title when I'm done, though.
And after such a nice experience yesterday, I don't plan on being the spoil sport.
That sounds wise to me.
I broke the ice at 5:00 and commented, "Well, this time 10 years ago, your dad made a run to Quizno's and came back with his bag and soda to meet the OB and the nurse who were telling me not to push until he got there!" He started to laugh and she had to follow suit...
Don't even get me started on birth stories - I could listen to them/tell them for hours!
TTFN!
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Quote: You mean you don't have midget clowns in Illinois?
Well, not that I've seen lately, but who knows? Maybe I'm just not looking in the right places.
You have to look down!
Did I tell you why D10 is so concerned about little people?
When D6 was a baby, we all went on a plane trip somewhere... can't remember where. We had landed back in Denver, and Mr. Wonderful had D6 and all her stuff (we take turns with the girls). We got off the plane and were getting ready to head to baggage claim when Mr. Wonderful exclaimed, "Oh crap! I left the diaper bag on the plane!"
The diaper bag had all her meds--couldn't live without it--so he made his way through the crowd in the opposite direction while I had the girls.
While he was on the plane, a People-mover car came up to collect a large group of little people, who had also traveled on our flight. Some of them had physical difficulties, which is why the car came for them. They were loading the person who had the most difficulty when Mr. Wonderful came running over to us.
He was a mess--a little crazed at the frenzy he had created and dropping stuff all over the place. D10 and I were just standing there, watching him work himself up.
Mr. W. swung around abruptly--one shoulder was carting the fully loaded diaper bag, and the other one with his carry on. I think both of them were really heavy.
While he was swinging those bags around in his self-induced frenzy, he was knocking midgets in the head with the bags! He'd turn back around abruptly to collect some other fallen object and whack another one in the face.
I was a little horrified--it looked like something straight out of the 3 Stooges--he was continually whacking these little people to the point where they said, "OW, look down!" He was SO red and apologetic. And D10 was bawling her eyes out...
She's been very concerned about Midget Human Rights ever since...
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Quote: While he was swinging those bags around in his self-induced frenzy, he was knocking midgets in the head with the bags! He'd turn back around abruptly to collect some other fallen object and whack another one in the face.
Truly, this is just what I needed after a somewhat stressful meeting/conference call.
I was a little horrified--it looked like something straight out of the 3 Stooges--he was continually whacking these little people to the point where they said, "OW, look down!" He was SO red and apologetic. And D10 was bawling her eyes out...
I am, too, but from laughter, not from concern, necessarily.
She's been very concerned about Midget Human Rights ever since...
Wouldn't it be terrible if one of us was secretly a little person? Like, say...me?
Hugs, Myrrh
One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.
Well, I'd have to feel bad only if I was taking pot shots at little people... Personally, I lump them in with people who are like D6--overlooked, underappreciated and just different from us giants!
You aren't a little person, are you? If you're a clown, you're hired!
I'm going to comment here what I forgot to say in your own thread--and that is addressing the time delays when we backslide.
Triple J best illustrated how he came up with 2 months in his thread. But the fact is that you can actually measure how long it takes to regain ground that is lost when doing a backslide.
For instance, my last fish eating episode occurred last June. We were in MC then, so it helped heal some hurts--though I was far from realizing my addiction to drama and how it affected my M. Anyway, it took me 2 solid months to get back to the point where I was at before I ate the fish tank...
During the period of regaining ground, you will often hear the S say stuff that verifies their position on why they don't want to give you hope or believe in the changes.
Summary: The backslides verify the yucky self talk they indulge in.
Three cheers for tall girls! I'm sorry, Mer, how about 3 cheers for girls who aren't as tall too?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
He sounds like a great guy...
