I'd love to get some feedback from vets who waited long time...
What kept you in?
What were you going to do if you decided to quit? In other words, if I decided I am ready to call it quits, what do I say to him?
He has not officially said he wants a divorce, but is moving at a snail's pace on an official separation. (Although he did just request an additional mediation meeting).
Now that I've had time to think about it, I realized that I was dissatisfied with our M in many ways. I know I was at fault for my half, and I am working on myself and I know my next relationship will be better. Books like DR, and the 5LL, and 7 Principles are now actual tools I have to help me in my next R. I finally get why I used to feel so unloved, even though my H would tell me all the things he was doing to show me he loved me. And vice versa. We did not speak the same love language. That is, in theory at least, resolveable. But unless he believes that, too, I'm not sure what hope there is. He does not have anger towards me, he has noticed changes in me, but he honestly believes that once you've fallen out of love, that's it.
