Outside forces are not my FIL. Outside forces are the people who keep telling her how I'm going to react. Her lawyer's asst. telling her that "from what this says your H must have said he wants full custody with limited visitation".
Wonka, I disagree with you about not involving my D14. I just don't see how asking her what she wants to do is wrong as that is what the court will do in the end. She isn't so young that she can't make a decision about where she wants to live primary. And, by the way, you said 50/50 they pick someone to be primary parent. I want that to be me as I do not trust my W to be honest with me or "change her mind" or have that kind of power over me and my R with my D! Not when she can't keep to anything that she has ever agreed to in the last year!
So, no IF's? OK if we have no If's I will want my D in school in my area, not my W's. My W has not moved yet and "if" she really cares about what's best for her D and not to just be around her friends, than she can move somewhere closer. There is If's involved and always will be. If she plays a sport and they have a game a certain night of the week or practice certain nights. There is no black and white here Wonka. Even my W said "We can do whatever we want to if we agree to joint", the problem comes in when she says she wants me to "force" my D to do what she wants at first.
I don't have to do 50/50 nor is it something I think is defin. in my D's best interest for all the reasons I just said (works late all the time, has to go away for work, etc.)the reason I put weight on what my W thinks and how she listens to others is she freaks out thinking I'm going to be so dang awful, runs from room to room and won't listen. I don't care what other people SAY I'll do I just do what I think is right. My W has started to see evil where none exists. And where in my interactions do I not agree with her POV? I never had a chance! She wouldn't talk if I said anything that sounded like I was disagreeing, she stopped listening, talk over me or left the room yelling!
No I am not thinking of having her committed but I also don't have to agree to 50/50 either. Another part in this is her sister who is coming home tonight. I am almost certain that she will stay with me and not her mother. I hope she doesn't just move in with her boyfriend now as she may think about that now. I really think my D14 is better off with her sister around. They don't always agree but in last year they have gotten closer and I really think they are good for each other. Another "if".
And if we can't understand each others point of view we can't come to an agreement and the court will decide and they will ask my D so we come full circle back to D having to decide where she wants to live.
It's sad but with my W so scared I just don't see how this is going to go smoothly. It bothers me that she is tieing me living at our home to whether I do what SHE wants when it comes to custody! That is blackmail! And she thinks I'm unreasonable? Don't you think if her D was going to be with me most of the time that would be more of a reason for her to want us in the house she grew up in?
Why exactly do you feel it is wrong to ask my D14 where she wants to live? Why is that so bad? I could see if she hated one parent but she loves her mother and doesn't want to hurt her anymore than she would want to hurt me! She has a right to go where she feels best as she already will have so much change in her life.
