Hi I'm new, I hope I won't be a burden on you guys

[1Wish]

Well, you've now seen how you threatening to move out is going to work. Let's cross that off the list, shall we?

Have you read other people's threads? Not just newbies but vets' threads as well? I read MrBond's when I first got here. His is a very long story, so I don't expect anyone to read it in full like I did (not kidding), but I learned a heap about DB by following his transformation from newbie to when he stopped posting on his own situation.

The more you read, the more you'll find that you're not alone, that everyone here has started somewhere no matter their level of experience with DB.

Tbh ill probably read it in full, where do I find it and how?

Also would someone stay with you becayse they dont want to hurt you?

[Barrybran]

Click on a user's name and a drop down menu appears with the option to view a person's posts. Once there, look for the "Topics created" link. Most recent topics are listed first.

As for your second question, from what I've learned here and about infidelity, I feel that someone would stay until something (someone) perceived to be better came along. You'll read a quote quite often throughout here: be a spouse only a fool would leave.

[MrBond]

All you're doing is mindreading. You're trying to mindread why your W is doing what she's doing when in reality she probably doesn't know herself.

Stop trying to think about things logically. Just keep living your life and get yourself back.

[1Wish]

All you're doing is mindreading. You're trying to mindread why your W is doing what she's doing when in reality she probably doesn't know herself.

Stop trying to think about things logically. Just keep living your life and get yourself back.

I really am, and I'm going onto next extremes by searching up lyrics to certain songs she listens to, when I read them it hurts me and then I cant get myself to be happy.

And I know part of DB'ing is being happy and upbeat, I got myself an elastic band around my wrist and slap it on myself everytime I overthink

[Roberta]

I strongly urge you to speak to a Divorce Busting Coach. You need to focus on your goals, clarify your thinking and come up with a plan to get your marriage back on track. Call me to discuss our Divorce Busting Coaching program 303-444-7004

[Barrybran]

1wish, it's not about having an elastic band on your wrist, it's about focusing on yourself. What are you doing to GAL?

[1Wish]

1wish, it's not about having an elastic band on your wrist, it's about focusing on yourself. What are you doing to GAL?

Bro I cant really GAL because thats one of the main reasons she felt neglect.. I left her by herself at night and would come home very late, sometimes at 3am even.. I've never cheated on her though, she's the only girl I have never done that to.

And also my past is really dirty in terms of girls and a lot of girls in my area know me and whenever I bump into them they tend to give me a hug and what not and my wifes always hated that and brings that up.

She says I cant believe I married a slut.. the thing is I cant change what happened yesterday and I've told her that if I knew I would meet her and would get married to her I would have saved my virginity, she always plays that card because she lost hers to me.

Also we are now selling my car and getting a car we can both share so I don't know if shes going to go anymore.

I don't think she'll say that she's going to stay but just stay if that makes sense.

But obviously I just dont know and feel like im in a limbo. Which I obviously am.

I wish my marriage is saved and I really wish things go good and I can make her happy even if I'm not because she deserves happiness out of all people.. shes had a terrible upbringing and I as her husband had a responsibility of keeping her happy and I failed. I can never forgive myself.

But I guess the past is the past, and I cant change yesterday. Im trying to get rid of all the past from our lives.. we moved houses so thats one thing and I dont go out no more and left my friends thats another.. we are now in east london whereas we were in north london before.. all thats left is the car and me.. I cant change my looks but I guess I can change my personality.

It shouldnt be this way...

@25 - I work for cbs and mocrosoft selling microsoft dynamics CRM and also a freelance graphic designer/photographer.

my wife is a manager at a mental health clinic

We both work hard and we are very ambitious.

Im looking to open my own graphics house soon.

[Barrybran]

GAL isn't about going out until 3am while your wife is at home. I never go out at night and yet I live for myself inside and outside the house, day and night. Do you have hobbies? Do you have friends? Are you a member of any clubs or sports teams? GAL is about doing things for you.

[1Wish]

I see what you mean and I suppose it's for my best interest for my health to do that.

Heres a little update..
So we were talking about cars yesterday again, and we were talking about getting an audi a3, she said what happens if we dont work out, I said well im willing to take that leap of faith and get it, she said well I dont want you to say I used you or anything and I asked her do you know whats going to happen? And she said know and I said so its 50/50 then.

I dont know if the cars going to bring us closer or what its so weird.

She says she wants to be alone is it a case of the grass is greener syndrome?

I feel she is being soo selfish its unbelievable shes ruining my life to get what she wants.

[Barrybran]

How are you going with the books?