Thanks TL, I don't know why but I got very emotional reading your post. I want so badly to be able to just sit and talk to the person my W USED to be and tell her what a B&^$h I've been dealing with and hear her laugh like she used to. God I miss that person so very much! I really hope that someday I will be able to talk to her again, whether she is just someone I used to know or a friend again, as she meant more to me than anyone else for many, many years.
I also know I'm not in love with the mean looking and acting person my W has become. She actually gets this mean grin on her face I never once saw in 25 years together when she doesn't want to believe me about something! 25 years never once did I see anything like that , now she does it all the time! She loves on the dogs all the time but can't love people anymore.
I do still care as I can't turn off 25 years like you can't 17. But like you, she just isn't someone I want as I know I can't count on or trust her. She is still rewriting history and telling me that I have said things I never have. She has made zero progress in the last 6 months and in fact has moved backwards as she is back to replay. She needs to be alone for her to complete her journey. I can't nor do I want to, help her. I just can't let my D be put in harms way.
Thanks for the advice TL and good luck with the new person in your life. Take it slow and be careful!
