My H and I are separated. OW works with him (in another country). He uses the work computer to Skype her on the corporate account -- some of their contact is legitimate.
When I found out in May that he had stayed in touch with her there was a bit of a kerfuffle going on between H and OW's baby daddy, while I was texting him from my end. I specifically told him not to contact her and he did, and told me about it, and there wasn't anything I could do about it. (He was trying to manage the kerfuffle at that moment).
For months he told me their contact was limited to legitimate work stuff. Both he, to me, and she, to the baby daddy, made a big show of deleting their contact info off their devices in front of us, which is pretty much a meaningless gesture. I could check with a transparency plan and find that he's contacting her and I'd have no way of knowing whether the content of their contact was legitimate or not. If he ever wants to reconcile I don't know how I'll be able to trust that she's out of the picture unless one or both of them leaves the company -- not likely for either for at least several years. So potentially, my M is completely doomed right this minute, even though he's not committed to divorce and I am definitely not.
Yes, I knew something was up before BD, but now there is no future "trust but verify" option for me.
Sorry to hijack the thread...
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
