Wow, Train great question and I love all the responses.
From my own personal experience so far, I found intel extremely important and useful for the first 5 months since my BD. I was able to gather all kinds of information which helped when my W initially attempted NC. I knew she maintained NC, and when she was contacted by the OM. Of course when she re-established contact I was aware, and I could tell if I was being lied to. Very important. I was also able to determine the genesis of the A, which is good to have. I have created a large collection of information that I can utilize should I be required to.
It was very helpful, and somewhat therapeutic to have that window for me. However, once I got caught, it created a big problem. So I have regrouped, taken another approach, and again created my window. However the difference is, I don't check it regularly right now.
If and when I get to the point where the OM is not involved, I will require full transparency. Until then, I will periodically check in and see what is happening, as others have noted, I am an information seeker. I'll just be more careful about getting caught
Great topic Train and thanks for the great advice everyone!
