i lost myself totally- somehow i'm back here - so i'm responding. thanks for note and thoughts.
i know- i am not in life (totally not) used to feeling like this- soooooo out of control and powerless, etc.
maybe it's the staring down death thing for past bunch of years- idk-
i agree totally we lug along allll our baggage of youth and life- of course we do- what else would we be but the sum of all those experiences, good an bad.
i know the feeling too- about not liking this new guy. sometimes i really get washed over with it- and think if i ever get my brain and emotions on firm footing i'll get lost and get away. sometimes i feel he's trapped me for the moment in this life i've gotten used to-
that he is not who i signed up to and for- but did that old guy exist? or was THAT all a lie too???? i have some very serioyus issues with trust & reality and honesty.
i'm outta here- wonder where this will go- new thread or old. xxoo
