Trying to save (not sure if broken or bent) p2

[ces67]

Well, it make sense to me and I'd have to echo a great deal of that in my own sitch. I'd go into details but it would just be repeating what you said.

What example are you showing your kids right now? Let's use Bug's definition of love for example. If you look at those descriptions, how much of that are your kids seeing?

For me, I feel I have demonstrated those things a lot. Not perfect by any means, but to a great degree. It recently dawned on me that the primary example my kids are learning by the example of my M is to avoid conflict, stay in your own corner and try not to jar the boat. So basically, I'm setting them up for a really tough road for their own future relationships and I have to find a way to change that and fast.

Not sure if your values are driven from a biblical basis or not. Mine are so that's where I'm coming from with this next paragraph. Take it or leave it as you like....

The example of sacrificial love is saturated throughout the bible. I also realized that the intended out come is always a deep, meaningful and intimate relationship. Always. Its never forced but to me that always appears to be the goal - to draw near.

While I see that example consistently I also see an unwavering focus to not allow mediocrity. At one point the phrasing says if you're going to go at this half-hearted, then I'll spit it out like luke-warm water. That's an interesting visual to me. It seems like a boundary of not allowing one's self to settle for less than what love should be.

I'm no theologian. I'm just a pilgram finding my way along the journey. This seems to tell me that part of the example I need to set is an unwaivering commitment to what intimacy really is. And maybe the example to not settle for less is better for my kids to see than a status quo, unfulfilling marriage.

Of course there are always a multitude of variables to consider (and I will typically take months to assess them all....) But that's where I'm at.

So the question I ask myself and maybe it will help you, is whether or not my actions consistently line up with what I value...

(a wife that mows the lawn... wow...)