i'll go do a new thread now- i forgot. i get soooo wound up and in a nother land. thanks for the comments - it helps me not think i'm a total nutjob.
i run here when my brain is busting out allover teh place. there just is no let up really lately- switch one bunch of stress for another. th o, saying that out loud to you- i realize this is alot less "life threatening" than being responsible for someone's very life every day- possibly- like it was.
comparably this is "nothin" - money and personality crappola - so thanks for that- i'm stepping back from that edge rite now. perspective is everything - huh?
you'd think that my sisters and I would merely be sad my mom died , it was not an easy or pleasant final year, or days (of course, why would any of THEM know that) ?? - and then grateful for the big gob of money we all will get from this woman who did wiothout and scrimped along in life so we'd all have a roof over head, etc.
i mean- really, i'm sooo grossed out at the two who feel 'screwed" - they were no where around in her life for her lonely old age. she was tough- but hey, she was a person - rite???
anyway- i let it get to me. i cannot fix it, or them or anything really.
can't even save a single soul - here's me letting go of that "junk" for today at least. i can't even "save" self- i am not going to accept any responsibility for amy of my sisters' happiness here - no way jose...
this sister is trying to make me responsible for her life and happiness=- it's not fair- she crashes thru life taking care of self and kids - she's been a good friend and "shoulder" for me so i have compassion. do i want to be tied to her for thirty years collecting money from her? God no- the thought makes me want to cry.
well- that's the problem this morning- it all makes me want to cry. people's inhumanity to each other- what the heck? we're all soooo the same - need the same things- are they blind or nuts or both??? ever notice the ones that feeel free-ist to ASK are the very ones that never think to be th ankful or grateful for help - and attach very little importance to anyone elses efforsts? or generousity???? i guess that's why they feel free- no recognition of what & how much they ask...(on purpose i'd think)
i/'ll go do that new thread - i can never think of clever thread names - i guess ya noticed by now.
