I was trying, like I have done in the past, and like others have been trying to do with you, to get you to see what your words look like to other people.
You come across very judgemental and very black and white about many many things. Whether that is your intention or not, it is what happens.
And I see it in this conversation about custody of your D. I am not saying you are right or wrong in how you feel about it or that your motivations are less than for what you BELIEVE is best for your D, (I agree that a 20 mile separation doesn't work well for consistency in school attendance or the development of friendships) however, I see no give from your end. Just like there is no give from your W on this.
While I may not agree with everything 25 says and I find her confusing of facts here and with other posters to be a bit disrespectful and careless to the person she is writing to, I respect her journey and experience. I feel that she has a lot to offer, although sometimes people aren't in the right "place" to hear it sometimes.
Let the L handle the legal aspects. Compromise will be necessary from both of you. However that is most likely NOT going to be achieved during highly emotional conversations.
I realize that right now your world as you knew it is crashing in.
We have all been there.
You have a lot of work to do Matt whether you realize it or not.
You are not a victim. You are not a martyr. You are allowing yourself to fall into both of those roles pretty well though.
Other than not separating and not getting a D, because those things are beyond your control, what can YOU do to make this situation better for all of you?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
