Hi 25, First, lets forget about the white noise. I know it was there I was just bleeding when I wrote it! This is the facts.... W doesn't seem to think at all about older D. It's like she isn't even going to be part of this! The first time she has said her name was tonight when she said D14 would need to share a room ( but added she didn't think my D18 will stay with her since I'm closer to her boyfriend (which is not the real reason)! My W is moving 20 miles away to a different town in a different county. She wants my D to spend 7 days there 7 here which I find disruptive and stupid. I don't think the schools are any better there than if she stayed here and went to school although W claims school is why she is moving there. (If not a lie it is at least a self deception as she is going where most of her friends live).
My W freaks out if all I say is I don't want to sign anything that doesn't say my D has final say, not my W in where she wants to live. She brought up (again) the one time I became teary taking my D to school saying that was me manipulating her. No it was me being upset that I was yelling at my D when it was W that I was angry at. So you can see that if she thinks a genuine show of emotion that wasn'tt even about her but about my feeling I had hurt my D is "manipulation" how hard it is for her not to see manipulation in anything that doesn't just agree with her.
The worst part of this is that if she would just calm down and talk to me, we aren't far apart on this. I do want her in my D's life as she's her mother. I don't agree that she should go to the school my W wants just because she thinks it's better. If she was going to school down there and I thought my W was a fine mom I would just do weekends and let D live down there as that's where her friends and life will be. This is what my W hopes to accomplish by sending her to school where she lives.
In the last year my W and I have disagreed on how best to raise our D. My W has disregarded my wishes, lied to me, dismissed my D, missed every school meeting, left my D on her own, the list goes on. I just don't trust her to do what is best for her. She is just too selfish the way she is now. My W also tells me I have 30 min to tell her what I want to do! I tell her I would like to talk to my L and again she freaks out saying that "proves" I don't want her to see her D and now all this is going to be hard when it shouldn't be.
In the first part of my post let me tell you who's saying what... My W got a phone call and was on a long time, she got off and told me we had to talk in private right away. She tells me according to what my lawyer said to her lawyer I want full custody with CS and to keep her away from our D. When I said all I told the lawyer was I want what's best for my D and I think that she is old enough to decide for herself and that is what I want, she gave me the "look of disbelieve and head shake of dismissal". That conversation started this whole thing that now will end any good will either of us had for the other and make a decent divorce impossible.
The reason I will lose sleep is that just by saying where my D can hear that I'm trying to manipulate her, my W is manipulating my D herself. I also will need to move out of my paid off home (that was paid off before my W went back to work) and try to get it into good enough shape to sell it. I find my W saying that about the house very sick as she will punish me if I don't go along with her on everything and at he same time keeps saying "I would never do that to you". Trying to make herself out to be some kind of victim. Just look at what she is saying, the people who back her (everyone according to her lingo) all are telling her she is or will be a victim. Even her father who screwed her mother in their D is saying not to let herself be a victim (something she sees her mom as being and hates).
