I will answer you both Wonka and 25, First, the way my W wants it, she wants HER to be primary and get to have final say on where my D lives. She wants to move 20 miles away and have her go there 7 days, here 7 days which I think is crazy! If we lived in at least the same town, I could see this. She wants to live there not me.
The way the law is in this state, the child over age 12 has the final say in where they and with whom they live. It may suck but that's how it is. I want my D to have a relationship a good one with her mother. My W is so sure that I am going to poison her against her and manipulate her even though I have never done anything to make her think this!
She says I told her I would keep D away from her but what she is talking about is she was saying that she wanted to take her out of state to live with her father for the summer and I told her I wouldn't let her do that. She had her mother say bad things about her father when she was a teen. The things she said were true but that doesn't matter as my W is right that you don't say them to kids. This is what she fears so much, she can't even listen unless I agree with her exactly.
My L couldn't believe that she thought 7 and 7 will work if she lived that far away. She keeps saying "Everyone keeps saying you will do awful things. I didn't want to believe it but it's true!" If I say I think it should be left up to D.
Wonka, my W has shown that she will work late most nights and not even bother to cook dinner for my D. She will need to travel for weeks at a time for her job and I'm supposed to be alright with her leaving D with her "friends"? She says she picked the place to live for the schools but the real reason is her friends all live there. I looked up the schools and they are rated the same.
My W seems to think that I should tell my D that she MUST live with her mother for 7 days and me 7 days. Give her a chance to see where she likes it best. This is not doing what's in her best interest. I am not on board that the school is the right place for my D. the right place would be private school but that won't happen now. It's not about where she likes best, it's about who she is better off with and in my opinion that is me. That is not to say that I don't think she should see her mother but damn if I'll sign something that gives my W the power to decide where is best. She wanted to send her 1000 miles away to be with the most horrible man I know. I don't care if it is her grandfather!
As it stands now my W is using money as a leverage against me! She will "let" me live in the house that's paid for as long as I agree to what she wants with my D. She said as long as we split 50/50 I can live here until she's 18 and then sell it and give her half. If I have full custody we have to sell it right away and split the money! She is trying to blackmail me! This is why she is trying to get the car out of my name before the court can stop her! (Yes mind reading but I think I have a point).
Wonka, I wish it could be that I trusted my w to be a great mom for my D. The last few years have shown me I can't. From forgetting about mandatory school meetings or refusing to do anything with her to telling me she can fend for herself when there is nothing for her to eat. This will now be a hellish experience that didn't have to be that way.
