So for you, being more specific--if the situation calls for it--is the 180 for you. Right?
So while Wonka is right about being mysterious, perhaps the better tact is for you to be honest? The mysterious part is probably for her to inquire and you to be up front about what you're doing. I'm not totally sure though. Can you share a couple of examples so we can better gauge where you might need assistance?
Betsey
I think you are right about being honest but not sure given the current context. I find I am struggling with her need for security and certainty, with the importance of my not being too available, GALing and being a little bit mysterious. Especially where we are right now with our R.
I am leaning towards the latter but worry that would destroy her nearly empty trust tank.
A couple of examples:
1. I began to wrap up our last phone conversation saying that I had to meet some people soon. The conversation was relatively calm despite it including how she was sure she was done with our M and was moving on. She said 'Oh okay, have a good meeting with your team.'
She thought it was a work meeting even though it was 7pm. I was going salsa dancing with friends but I didn't correct her and she didn't probe. My default would have been to clarify but I did the opposite. Made me a bit uneasy as one of my issues with her was her pattern of half-truths.
2. During my last visit a few months ago things were very tense. She did not want me there and barely allowed any conversation. I decided to take a day trip to a nearby town to take some time for myself and catch up on work. However, she texted me to find out where I was.
Her: Where are you? When are you coming home? Me: I took a drive to give you some space. Her: There you go leaving town yet again without telling me!
I wish I had known to validate her then. It may have changed that outcome. But still very confusing for me at the time. She would shut me out then turn around and blame me for not communicating with her.
But the dilemma still remains: to be predictable or to be mysterious on this DB journey?
