Wife is Continuing Affair-When Do I Start LRT? II

[Train]

Starsky,

A question, relevant to a couple threads I'm following, including this one:

You and I agree (?) that strategies are different if an OM/OW is involved. But we know cheaters lie. And we also know that snooping HURTS the LBS. All that being said, how can these people know which strategy to use if they CAN'T prove - 100% - that an OW/OM is still in the picture? Should they periodically ask?? What if the WAS lies (shocking, right)?? Should the LBS be periodically snooping, despite that being a "no-no" because it's SO painful if/when something turns up?

Personally, once busted, my H never lied ... in fact, my nose was rubbed in his A. But I think, from reading others' experiences, that is the exception instead of the rule.

So how would folks like Dev ... and mdu ... proceed if their spouses SAY they're not involved in an A (or ignore that question altogether) while their *actions*, at least at times, tend to suggest otherwise?

I'm confused FOR them, so perhaps these are questions to which *I* am interested in answers. But perhaps I'm the only one?