Wife in MLC and ready to leave #4

[25yearsmlc]

PS

Courts strongly favor joint custody. That doesn't mean equal time, per se. It does mean equal rights in important matters like schools and religious training, etc.

I don't know what the 7/7 means. If it's 2 miles away and she gets the stability of one week in one place and then another week elsewhere, then it might sound reasonable ON PAPER, but from what Matt says, it is very onerous.

I'm not clear about why that is. But if it is onerous or creates havoc in the d's life (more than the divorce itself, that is), then I doubt a court would enforce it UNLESS the d really wanted that.

Does that clarify it? I mean, I totally get your concern about protecting the child,

but consider the above scene I described for my mil (though I know, it was a long time ago). She was being asked to move in with her mother and some guy she'd barely met, instead of staying in her home area and around her 2 uncles and 3 aunts, who doted on her. (OF all the Russian immigrants, she was the only child to survive so she was a big deal in her dad's family, as were our children, the only descendants).

As bad as making her choose was, (her mother's reaction sukked btw) it would have been worse, imo, to just tell a kid "your parents broke up and one of them is removing you from the other one's life pretty much and say 'hi' to your new dad"...

I've seen kids in the military get yanked from their homes and moved across the world to be with one parent only and sometimes it's not the parent they wanted...

and I've seen remarriages and crazy commutes in which the new stepdad flies to the old home of his "new" kids to see their biological father, and then stepdad flies back to his new home to his new wife, (their mom). Why? B/C the mom did not have the guts to face her ex h, the kids dad. It was a lousy thing to do to everyone.

Anyhow, more food for thought. I think it's crucial that Matt NOT color all his comments with his opinions b/c courts will want only the facts. The more white noise that gets tossed in, the less credibility he'll have or the more the court will want to hurry up.

Questions to expect are NOT about who did what to whom,

BUT Where will w live, and how far away? How will d be transported to school and back, etc. Health care, childcare (less important at this age than younger ones)

and unless she's found unfit, I'd say joint custody will be awarded and some division of physical custody will be the only thing remaining in dispute

Narrow down what is actually being disputed. I doubt you can prove she's unfit to have ANY custodial rights, so some visitation will happen in all likelihood.

But I'm going to back away from more legal speak b/c Matt has a L who can better advise on his situation.

But Wonka, I get what you are saying...