Everyone, Just had a knock down drag out with my W. She had her L call and tell her that my L is asking for full custody and she freaked out telling me that I was an evil person who wants to manipulate my D to hate her because I'm so upset about her leaving me and just like her dad said, I'm going to be horrible. She only wants what's right, only wants what's best but I want to hurt her, blah, blah, blah! I told her calmly over and over that it's between our lawyers and that spun her even more! She said her dad told her that she had to D even though that wasn't what she felt, HE convinced her that "nothing will change" and that he not only will pay for L but help her out with moving. IF SHE GOT A DIVORCE.
She wants me to do what she wants or nothing. If I don't agree to 50/50 HER WAY (7 days, 7 days) that means that she can't trust me. That I'm taking her D away and going to poison her. Of course I don't need to. She KNOWS my D will choose me because she hasn't been a mother for YEARS! She tells me I told her I was going to do just that (NEVER HAPPENED). When I told her I wanted my D to choose, she freaked out and ran away, never let me finish my sentence. She is awful in every way. She lies and that's OK, I never tell a single lie and she calls me the liar.
I should have talked to my D. I knew it. By the way she has signed a lease and is moving, not telling our D. I can't believe it. All I said was I wanted it in writing that she can't decide on her own where Our d permanent address is and she ran away screaming she knew "everyone was right"(2nd time running away). She wants me to agree that we will split custody and make certain that I "make" my D go half the time with her. I am also needing to stop her from getting a car loan on our car that takes me off and I signed the loan she has now! First thing first, she has to stop doing that loan.
She has told me that she wants to leave our D with her "friends" when she has to go away for work, I don't want that as they are not good people. She has no earthly idea what she is going to do and she is moving so fast to do it!
If she had just not brought her father into our business this would be fine. Now, I will not sign anything that says ANYTHING but my D decides where she lives. Too bad as now she is going to make me sell the house and split the proceeds where before she was going to allow me to live here as it's paid for. I now know she can't be reasonable. If I don't say that I will only do 50/50 she will not be reasonable about anything! She needs to face that she did this she has to face the fact that her D isn't happy. She now is telling me how our D will pick me ONLY because she feels bad that I'll be left alone....what bull! She has been an awful mother and should face that but no, she wants to BLAME me if D is angry...HAS to be my fault. She even is saying that our older D is going to go with her! What crap. She is going to make this go longer than ever. Of course my L is flat fee, hers is hourly. Too bad for her dad.
First thing first, NO car loan. I won't say that because she will freak out if I do. I will need to call my L tomorrow and stop that from happening as it's NOT separate property!
I can't believe this is the same person that was so reasonable just a couple days before her father came to town. That was a week ago! Everything changed and she didn't even say a word! She won't even take responsibility for not telling about her stopping her pay and leaving me in charge of bill paying. Nothing is her fault. Nothing is wrong with anything she has EVER said or done, no matter how awful and wrong.
Look I have read on here over and over that they start to understand what they have done as they come out of MLC. That once that happens they start to understand how they hurt everyone, how THEIR actions were the ones that caused this. Please tell me that will happen. Please tell me that some day she will turn around and understand just what she has done. I can't stand the thought that she is going to keep going through life blaming everything and everyone BUT her for all the awful crap she has said and done and will say and do! I want so badly for that smug face she puts on when I tell her something and she doesn't want to believe it to be gone and for her to really get that she screwed everyone for no reason at all! Just doesn't seem right that she can hide from the truth and really believe it. It would make me feel better to KNOW really know, that she will have to face her part in this some day! I know that isn't a certainty. But right now when this stings so badly, after all I have had to put up with for so many years because of her own weak mind, that she will someday HAVE to face her demons!
Now, I must move quickly to get things in order that need to be in order. I need to stop ANY thoughts of her and let her do what she will and just talk to the lawyer and tell him what must happen. Look I want my D to have her mother in her life, I'm not out to get my wife and hurt my D. I just don't think the way she wants to do it will work and that she shouldn't think she will get HER way just because she thinks it's best when she hasn't thought about what was best for this family in a long time! My God, it's so hard to even talk to my W about this and it's her own guilt that is the problem. Her own fear that her D will choose me over her (I think that part of her must understand that D will choose me not only because she "feels sorry" as W is the one to leave, but because she hasn't had much to do with either D for a long time! If she had done anything to maybe stop this, ANYTHING. IF she had at least tried the separation I would have helped her. But now I will not. She has no values that match mine and what she doesn't seem to understand is that I will never allow her to hurt my D, no matter the cost to me in $'s!
