I am totally jazzed about your reply to my post. I'm sorry about the tears, but something tells me that you're hopeful and want to see your mom.
A good friend of mine sees his mom when he sees balloons (his mom adored them). My grandfather loved larkspur, so when I see them I can actually smell them and I usually feel a message pour forth from him. My grandmother? She loves TVs (ask me about the million times I've had to get every TV fixed--including the one in the car--when she needs to tell me something).
His mother is very vibrant and upbeat now--she paid me a visit last night, just as I was heading into my prayers. And boy did she have a lot to say. After nearly a half hour of telepathic dialogue, I ended up having to tell her that I really appreciate our newfound communication--but needed to pray so I could go to sleep and asked her to come back some other time.
Man, she was giddy with excitement! Some day, I'll spill the entire story to Mr. Wonderful, but not now. Maybe I'll tell him her side of the story about the secret bank accounts, though. She was kind enough to explain them to me... and her answer makes a whole lot of sense in the grand scheme of this dysfunction.
Getting back to you and your sister and parents. This is a timely discussion because tomorrow I am attending the disabilities session in our state legislature! Go me!
I meet SO many people in this small world--people who have so many differences despite the common thread that is weaved amongst us. Some of those folks assume guilt--as you mentioned was true for your father.
The fact is that many people feel that the painful parts of our mortal life are punishments for past sins. I try to get through to them, though in the end, it's up to them to decide to see things differently.
I was a spiritual person before D6 came along. Even though I grieved for more than a few years, I always felt that she was a blessing for everyone who meets her. She is Bob Barker without knowing it.
There is something to be said for a person who feels loved by everyone, who judges none, and who loves equally in return. How often do we meet someone like this? I'm lucky to be this person's mother.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me or wrote me to say that they loved my little girl and would give the world to be more involved in her life--I would be a millionaire a zillion times over. It amazes me each and every time, but I am constantly moved by the outcome.
I see things from this perspective because I believe.
However, it would have been really easy for me to assume guilt for the outcome because I drank diet coke a few times when I was pregnant with her. Or the fact that I whined to my OB/GYN 2 1/2 weeks before her due date to induce labor. I could probably come up with a laundry list of things that I could feel punished for doing.
The fact is that I realize we all have gifts to share with our mortal friends and family members. My road may be difficult from most of your perspectives, but every day, I come home from work to greet someone who is ALWAYS happy to see me--no matter how grumpy I am or what my daytimer is filled with that doesn't include her.
Your dad, bless him, is trying to figure out WHY--and I've discovered that it's a complete waste of time. I understand the need to go down that path, but it's really fruitless. God love him and your sister... I will remember both of them tomorrow on the hill and keep them in my prayers.
Yes, Mr. W. IS at a crossroads. I'm feeling pretty grateful to his dad for pointing out that there can be love underneath the hurt and resentment. I don't think Mr. W. believed that until now.
CBH, YOU are a good friend. You have put the needs of your family above your own in a time of turmoil, and that makes you a good person. I commend you for always choosing to take the high road... not all of us here can say that.
However, I think you'll feel stronger and more empowered if you stand up to the "class bully"... and I think you might be surprised at the result. Because we've now established the fact that I'm a gambler... my money is that your H will treat you more respectfully if you demand it.
I'm glad your sister can see that you're not in LaLaLand here!
Tell you what? Leave Officer Unfriendly at home and you come out with the other girls for a ski trip... Then I'll get to hug you instead of chasing your H down like a dog (although that idea sounds mighty appealing).
Time for our next meeting.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
