cat04, You are reading more into that statement. It WASN'T JUST because they were divorced, high money sales attracts many certain type of men (and women) who are divorced BECAUSE they care more about themselves then anyone else, including their kids and spouses. Just a sad fact of the business. Some work too many hours trying to stay on top, others spend too many hours blowing off steam from the pressure.
Cat, you seem to almost want to see something there that isn't. Not only that it doesn't matter how much you make as long as you do every thing you can to take care of your responsibilities and that isn't just making money (hence "non-family type") but being there for the kids life events, school functions etc. The type of people I was talking about would never take a day off for that, that was what the wife was for. Do you really think after all I've just been thru I would say just because you are D, you aren't a "family type" person.
What qualities should a man possess? That varies on the man and what he values. A man has values. Things he lives by and are immovable first and foremost. He doesn't change his mind just because it's not in fashion. He has an open mind about most things EXCEPT his core values. These are different for every man. For some it would be God first, others not. What matters is he lives his life for himself, his family and can be counted on by those he loves and love him back. If someone in his life doesn't have the same values, he doesn't try and force them to live by his but he gives them an opportunity to see that if you share the same values he will give you his all, if not then you probably need to move along and find someone who does share the values you live by. A man is never punitive, never needs to threaten or try to force people to do what he thinks is best, he lets others know how he feels and if you feel otherwise he may try and show you or tell you why his way is better but in the end he leaves it to the other person to decide what is best for them. If they share his values and he theirs he gives his blessings freely, if they don't he doesn't.
My values include that I don't believe in divorce except in abusive situations. That you try everything possible to make it work before just giving up. My W shared that one (in fact all of mine before MLC). I believe love is a verb, not a noun and it's something you do, not something you feel. The list goes on but you get the idea.
This is one of the things that has me very upset about my sitch. She had the same values for 25 years. I get she doesn't now BUT to me that is the hardest part for me as to me values don't change this much this fast unless there is something more going on. I really believe that at some point she will realize that what she is doing now is wrong because it goes against everything she had always believed for as long as I've known her. If she could give me some reasons why those changed other than "feelings" of unhappiness that would be different. Yes, I understand that trying to force my point of view on my W goes against my defin. this is why I haven't. I have given her space and support for almost a year now and haven't tried in a very long time to make her change her mind. I wish she would before it was too late but I have no control over that. Those are the qualities a man should possess.
