Hi I'm new, I hope I won't be a burden on you guys

[Barrybran]

Being a doormat will NOT earn her respect. If she can push you around and bully you, and calling you f*cked in the head is bullying, she will never respect you. I feel where MrBond is coming from is that you should NEVER tolerate people treating you poorly in any way.

Most people here would probably agree with MrBond about kicking your wife out of bed. I feel it would have created more problems. In my situation, I had to really understand my self-worth before I could act on it. I was speaking and acting without really understanding why I was doing it and I just came off looking like an arse. Once I learned to love myself again, I was able to speak and act in a manner consistent with someone who had self-worth.

Right now, you're looking to find out why your wife feels the way she does. You want to get more answers out of her. The more you know about how she feels, the more you have to think about and the quicker you can go about making those changes. "I can see you're really uncomfortable about this" is a potentially closed statement. Many people would suggest that when your wife called you "f*cked* that you end the conversation at that point. I think a middle ground may help. Ask why she feels that way, listen to what she has to say, and then end the conversation by thanking her for explaining her feelings and politely and respectfully telling her that you will not tolerate name calling in future. Then go away and think about what she has said.