Uh, you're not alone, and undoubtedly, it was a problem for all of us in our relationships. Both my XH and I come from parents who were/are really crappy communicators and we wound up always keeping score or one-upmanship. It wasn't until he left and I started working on the DB principles that things did a complete 180 for us.
We're divorced now, but people tell us all the time that we get along better than most married people. It's true. We have respectful communications now. My D20 told me yesterday (after I picked her up from the airport after a week in Holland playing volleyball), "I've been wondering. How on earth do you and Dad do it? When do you even make time to talk?" I laughed and told her, "We talk at least once a week during lunchtime and catch up. It's easy now." And truthfully, it all started here.
Good luck!
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
