Thanks so much for stopping by! See how much happens within 8 hours of my phone consult with you?
I appreciate your sharing the quote and will paste it on my computer monitor today.
I understand completely what you are saying about resolving R issues after death. (I worked as a hospice volunteer for 11 years--where blessings and miracles were plentiful, along with valuable lessons.)
I think Mr. W. has worked through his issues with her--in fact, I think he was doing that behind the scenes last year while not living with me. He seems oddly at peace with her passing--something that I know will help his father and brother, who are not as far along in the process.
It's me who has the forgiveness issue with her.
And it's time to really work on that. I recognized the importance after working to forgive Mr. Wonderful for walking out on me. I think that was easier for me because I love/loved him (even though I didn't like how he was behaving). I don't like or love her, and I understand that God calls me to forgive her anyway.
I've discovered along the way that it's easier to forgive someone I love than it is to forgive someone who I don't. I also think it might be easier if she loved me... but I know that isn't true either.
Oddly enough, on my way to work this morning I sensed her with me and D9 in the car. I had just dropped D6 off at camp (they have a non-contact day today)... a voice that I knew was her told me she finally understood what she would not see while she was alive--that I DO love her son.
I also sense that she now sees his confusion--and the confusion isn't whether or not he loves me. He does. He is just afraid of loving me more deeply--and worse--losing himself in the process. I hope she can help him understand that he can still BE who he is AND love me too.
This will undoubtedly help me on this path... which reminds me that I need to schedule a time to go talk to Fr. Bob. I've never been one to talk to a priest, but he seems so available and kind that it's hard to pass up on his offer to chat and have coffee.
As I mentioned to Kitti on her thread, God has a hand in all sorts of things--including timing and reason.
Perhaps He knew that Mr. Wonderful was at a point to be guided, and that this would be the method that would best serve His divine purpose. I'm going to go with that for now.
Thanks for your reassurance. As soon as Mr. W. returns, Bob is going to have to come back to help me keep in an upbeat mood. In the meantime, I might give Bob some time just for entertainment with D6!
I hope everyone has a wonderful day!
Betsey
p.s. I had to change the title to reflect one of my favorite Celine songs...
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
