Why did you include "point out to him that he's holding you back"? He is not holding you back. He is stalling, and if you would like him to finish the deal, own that. Ask him to quit stalling. This is a business negotiation and how you emotionally feel about the position he has taken has no part in the discussion. In a business negotiation, what possible concern would it be of his that you feel "held back"? His concern is to hang onto his money as long as possible whether it rightfully belongs to you or not. Your concern is to get what you are due, and you're allowing it to drag on because you're afraid of something. Afraid he'll decide not to be with you after all? Afraid he'll reneg on his agreement? Fear is not your friend.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Yes... I know about storage lockers... but, why when I can leave it at his place for a while longer??? He is not asking for me to take any of it at this time.
Horny huh?... me too... but I know I would have expectations & wanting more. I desperately want to be with him again...someday. Starsky, why do you think its a good idea not to take this kind of bait? Curious to hear a mans perspective on this topic. TX!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Why? Because the man started breaking up with you two years ago, moved you out of his home about a year and a half ago, and you have about 3000 posts worth of threads demonstrating how you are clinging to the shreds of the relationship in hopes that it returns better than ever. Leaving your stuff in his house on the pretext of convenience and saving money is refusing to be independent and looks like using your stuff as a means of staying connected to him. It's the opposite of dropping the rope. You've come too far in life to be dependent on the storage space of an XBF, it's time to stand on your own two feet. In my opinion.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
.... and thats why I suggested it was time 3 pages ago.
I do realize I need to do this.. just not today/now, I am now in the middle of piles & piles of boxes at my parents. Beds are sitting in the garage. I have so much to do & still run a business & try to get my dang name on it!
2 barriers:
1) I do not draw a monthly salary, inspite many years of asking my accountant to set it up! 2) I fear going into that house... seeing the condition of it, seeing my HUGE supply of household & personal items.... I will get weak! <<< THIS STOPS ME!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” -Frank Herbert, Dune
"Do or do not... there is no try." -Yoda
Last edited by TSquared2; 06/05/1406:34 PM.
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
T2, I can't believe you are Benijeserit! So, are you human or an animal? MM, let me give you another man's take on the sex thing....don't do it! If you EVER want him to see you as anything except an object or FWB, if you ever want him to start to pursue you, do not do it! It may sound old fashioned but "Why buy the cow when the milk is free" Still applies! Some things never change and that one will always be true. Besides, how would you feel about yourself after all he's done that you would let him use you and at the same time tell you he doesn't know if he wants a R with you?
