I'm a legend in my own mind, where the ability to express myself is concerned...
Thank you for your vote, though.
Now, he better call me soon or Bob is going to show up on FIL's doorstep--and something tells me that there is NO such thing as "grief stricken Bob"!!!!!!!
So here's a toast to all my DB buddies in having a peaceful week with only successes to report--especially you, Pattie. It's time for tranquility.
Does everybody have their assignments?
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Myrrh... Your assignment is the same as Deb's and all of us....
Find peace and tranquility this week.
I don't think it's Mer who hates colored posts... after all, she used green today to indicate her positive e-mail.
Uh, Bob couldn't stay too miffed about the golf club incident--since he had the fun in beating the crap out of Happy! Damn, he took Happy DOWNNNNNNNN and then kicked him for good measure.
You really need to see it to get the full picture. BTW, for anyone who cares, I thought Ben Stiller's character was more funny than Bob... I don't think I'll be signing up for arts and crafts when I make it to the nursing home!
Somehow, picturing Mr. Wonderful as Happy in Denver has just lost enormous appeal. It's no fun imagining a butt kicking contest when the contestant is already down...
Who wants to borrow Bob? He needs to occupy himself with one of you while Mr. Wonderful is out of town...
Just know that I might have to ask him to come back if things get too morose around here. They shouldn't because we are having STELLAR weather--no complaints from me at all today!
Cheerio!
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey, Just caught up with you. I'm so sorry to read about your MIL. Like Meredith said, things happen when they do for a reason. Just as you said that big events come along to help the big D along, well, they also come along to help reconsiliation. As a matter of fact, remember the funeral I was nervous about going to last month? Well, the brother of my friend was in quite a pickle...he was attending with his girlfriend, yet trying to be a "family" with his STBXW and 2 daughters. Just last week my friend told me that the death of their father was a huge eye-opener to her brother. He decided to try to make things work with his wife. If anything, Betsey, it is a reminder that life is just too short.
I just read about your MIL and you and your family have my sympathy. I appreciate understanding about how she impacted your life. This sounds as if this loss can offer mixed feelings – depending on how you experienced her. I so admire your perspective – it reminds me of something I just read about our “second journey” (or as some would label – MLC):
“Second journeys usually end quietly with a new wisdom and a coming to a true sense of self that releases great power… It is a wisdom that gives some things up, lets some things dies, and accepts human limitations…… It is a wisdom that has faced the pain caused by parents, spouse, family, friends, colleagues, and has truly forgiven them and acknowledge with unexpected compassion that these people are neither angels nor devils, but only humans.” -Brennan Manning
You mentioned MW may have not gotten to resolve some things w/his mom, is that right? If so, I would hope that at some point, MW would realize that even though she is now dead, it does not mean he is powerless to take some steps to make peace with her. Does that sound strange? I used to work as a chaplain in the hospital and worked with grief issues a bit. I can tell you that death does not need to stop someone from resolving relationship issues. If you need me to share more on that, I will.
On a lighter note, let me share my regret that this thread has maintained a three-star rating. It goes to show that some fail to see a five-star thread when it is glaringly apparent! I am also glad that South Dakota Bob’s positive attributes are being fully appreciated! )
Take care for now,
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Ok Pattie...Bob is there! He doesn't need much, he'll be a very good houseguest. Now you have to be willing to let him take over. You have to be ready to accept the funny stares you'll receive initially as a positive sign - because the stares mean that you've grabbed attention and curiosity. Ready? One, two three...
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
Thanks so much for stopping by! See how much happens within 8 hours of my phone consult with you?
I appreciate your sharing the quote and will paste it on my computer monitor today.
I understand completely what you are saying about resolving R issues after death. (I worked as a hospice volunteer for 11 years--where blessings and miracles were plentiful, along with valuable lessons.)
I think Mr. W. has worked through his issues with her--in fact, I think he was doing that behind the scenes last year while not living with me. He seems oddly at peace with her passing--something that I know will help his father and brother, who are not as far along in the process.
It's me who has the forgiveness issue with her.
And it's time to really work on that. I recognized the importance after working to forgive Mr. Wonderful for walking out on me. I think that was easier for me because I love/loved him (even though I didn't like how he was behaving). I don't like or love her, and I understand that God calls me to forgive her anyway.
I've discovered along the way that it's easier to forgive someone I love than it is to forgive someone who I don't. I also think it might be easier if she loved me... but I know that isn't true either.
Oddly enough, on my way to work this morning I sensed her with me and D9 in the car. I had just dropped D6 off at camp (they have a non-contact day today)... a voice that I knew was her told me she finally understood what she would not see while she was alive--that I DO love her son.
I also sense that she now sees his confusion--and the confusion isn't whether or not he loves me. He does. He is just afraid of loving me more deeply--and worse--losing himself in the process. I hope she can help him understand that he can still BE who he is AND love me too.
This will undoubtedly help me on this path... which reminds me that I need to schedule a time to go talk to Fr. Bob. I've never been one to talk to a priest, but he seems so available and kind that it's hard to pass up on his offer to chat and have coffee.
As I mentioned to Kitti on her thread, God has a hand in all sorts of things--including timing and reason.
Perhaps He knew that Mr. Wonderful was at a point to be guided, and that this would be the method that would best serve His divine purpose. I'm going to go with that for now.
Thanks for your reassurance. As soon as Mr. W. returns, Bob is going to have to come back to help me keep in an upbeat mood. In the meantime, I might give Bob some time just for entertainment with D6!
I hope everyone has a wonderful day!
Betsey
p.s. I had to change the title to reflect one of my favorite Celine songs...
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
) 