Hi thanks What do you mean exactly push back?.. just validate?
So today is an anxious day.. tonight we have a scheduled phone call..Where did all those easy exchanges go and will they ever come back or will I need to spend a day planning every conversation and living in dread of the outcome.. it is so exhausting
so I sat down to write to myself and I came up with What is the worst that can happen? well that has happened he is having an affair and wants divorce
so what is next? For me 1. He will be angry and distant What can I do? Don't react ( Eg Reread solo Partner- Emotional Reactivitiy) Validate
2. He will say he is not coming after I have cancelled my weekend away because I really am needing some help with moving all this furniture What can i do? Impact statement When I do not have a commitment about assistance with this move then i am unsure if I should proceed alone or not.This makes planning and organising very difficult for me.
3 He will be more normal sounding
Ask for his plans and wishes for the weekend. Maybe validation-- positive
what NOT to do Cry, plead, beg, accuse..be dependent and needy
So I have a sort of plan
you are right he is a conflict avoider, but so am I...I do not deal well with his disapproval or irritation.. very deep in my psyche that anxiety..
