Trying to save (not sure if broken or bent) p2

[SemperFi00]

And labug you have also asked about times I have felt anger recently…… just a couple of nights ago

Quick recap of events:
- got home from a rough day @ work around 630p (later than my target time from 180ss and later than when I wanted to be home)
- W was on tractor mowing the lawn which was great - unfortunately she had set the blade too low and sheared off two sprinkler heads and scalped the yard in a couple of places. She really enjoys mowing the lawn and had just mowed ours 3-4 days ago so it really didn’t need it yet but she had just finished mowing neighbor’s yard because they were out of town for a funeral
- went inside and found that nothing had been started for dinner and kids were saying they were hungry
- went upstairs to find several loads of laundry on the floor in the bedroom along with windows open while A/C was on

Any one of these events in and of themselves probably would have probably been handled by a “whatever, not all that important” type of approach. The combination (plus current situation) escalated my feelings a bit and I cycled through a feeling that I wanted to yell at W, then thoughts around whether she was intentionally doing some of these things just to aggravate me and eventually would up in a place where I was like “whatever, it’s ridiculous to let these things get me that upset”.

So I closed the windows, started some laundry, thanked my W for mowing the lawn and tested the sprinklers – thankfully they still worked – and the night continued on. This whole cycle probably took about 10-15 minutes.

To be fair though it must not have been completely transparent to W because S18 said something about stopping mowing and W made a comment – something to the effect of “what, you too?”

Ugh – I see that I am still not perfect and have some work remaining…. But the good news is the work is only needed for the rest of this life!