I am not as angry today as yesterday but for Gods sake she went from what we agreed was bad but best to doing ONLY what SHE wants and what she wants has become horrible to me and my family! She has become totally unreasonable since her father entered the picture and this is the most serious stuff she will EVER do! She keeps getting angry over things that haven't even happened and doing things she can't take back, ever. In the last 5 days she has totally blown any chance that we will NOT get a divorce. She has forced me and her both bring outsiders into this, her her dad and me my parents. At times it actually seems like she is doing this just to get attention from her dad!
That doesn't mean I blame her father. It doesn't mean I'm not doing what I need to do. In that 5 days she went from doing something bad for everyone (separating) to the nuke option (full divorce in 60 days and moving out NOW), so yes, I'm a bit angry and upset. It's just ANOTHER betrayal in my eyes by this person who I've done so much for.
Uhmmm....
That is what MLC is buddy...
Certainly a difference between reading about it, and living it....huh ?
A couple things that I want to touch on here....
I don't disagree with a lot of what 25 said to you, although more than a couple of her facts were....blurry ? (what's that about ? )
Yet, a LOT of what she says has truth in it...
You are focusing WAY too much on what she is doing, rather than how YOU are REACTING to it....
You may not accept her actions, yet she is 100%, script...MLC
She has her playbook and she is using it step by step....
And there is a TON of information in the archives that will show you the path that YOU should be taking to deal with it...
You need to dig within yourself and find out WHY you are REACTING with anger, instead of taking the steps to ACT from within yourself. And stop letting her words and actions affect you so deeply...
Reacting so personally, lets you play that "victim" card.
And you are NOT a victim...you had choices too
The goal is to be a survivor...
The reason I asked you the other day if you were up for a bet, was that I was going to challenge you to NOT post anything with the words (or anything that resembles the words) Wife, or Father-in-Law for a week. On your threads, or on any other threads...
And I would still like for you to take me up on that...
I want you to show me YOU. Who you are, and what you are about...
So far the only thing I know about YOU, is how you react to her bullschidt....(and the backstory is kind of irrelevant at this point)....
Your steps Your plan Your actions
The other thing that I want you to think about...
Is that your anger is allowing you to flame your entire Marriage here, and I don't think, that is fair at all...
If you had a Dog for 15 years, and he was the most loyal and loving Dog that you have ever seen in your life...
Right up til that day that he turned on you, and bit you...
Would that one incident make him a bad Dog for entire existence??
Or a really good Dog, that had a bad moment ???
If you cannot find the respect, and love for her, through this time in her life. Then how are you going to show your Daughters how to love her through this....
YOU are supposed to be the rock for them...start acting like it...
Stop reacting to her words....
They are empty, and meaning less. Even if you DO end up Divorced, it is just a legality, and it WILL NOT change what is in your Heart....
I do believe that you have a list to get back to....
