Continuing my DB'ing journey...

[woundedfool]

I have read DB and read DR twice.

I would read DR a few more times, stick with specific chapters, almost to the point you can recite them.

I guess I am feeling discouraged.

It happens, those feelings can ebb and flow.

I feel like I have been doing LRT and been pretty dark (minus the kids) since I joined here in early April.

That is still awfully new. Don't set an expectation or a timeline for results, your only bound to be disappointed. How many times have you heard here that this is a marathon, not a sprint? Plus (and this is not a criticism, just a reminder), you are only recently going dark, you have mentioned in your other threads some pursuing behaviors (and that you have ended them).

He does not reach out to me. He hasn't once even said hi or hello or how are you via text he just will say 'do the boys need this' or what are the boys doing. Not a hi please thank you nothing. I know I need to work on detaching.

Yes, you still need to work on that detachment. Have you read the 37 rules? If not, read them, memorize them. If so, are you actually following them?

I feel in such a strange place after finding out about 18 year old GF. I find myself wondering if I reacted differently when he first left in February and March would things be different.

I cannot disagree, but trying to second guess with hopes of changing the past is just impossible. Accept whats "done is done" and learn from your experience.

Could DB had worked?

IT STILL CAN! But only if you are on board.

I am setting up a coaching session for next week as I need some specific direction on how to handle my H and interactions with him. If I should continue NC minus the kids or what? I know there is probably no saving my marriage anymore but I am not ready to give up.

Excellent! I am very glad you are taking this step. Look at the thread on preparing for coaching, it can't hurt.

I am pretty upset. I just got a screen shot of a text that H sent a friend back in February before he left saying ... A friend of mine, my boss's daighter told me I deserve to be loved and appreciated for who I am and what I do and not be in a relationship with W who doesn't appreciate me and respect me.'

While I can't (and won't) dismiss your feelings, because they hurt. I want you to think about his feelings. You have mentioned you may not have appreciated him as much as you should have. As a 180, maybe find the SMALLEST something you can, and simply tell him you appreciate it?

Yet he still holds out that this is all because of me and that they are only now recently dating because I accused them.

Well, yea.... That is his storyline, he does believe it. So why should it matter to you? You can scream and yell from the rooftops that he had the relationship started before the D, what does that accomplish?

However, as a side note: it would be a matter for your attorney to address at the appropriate time.